Wednesday, 22 May 2013
So when I started this blog it was meant to be about my 'diet' hence the title of it.
Shall I let you all into a secret?
I've had anough of being on a diet.
I have had enough of organising my life around that one day a week when I have been weighed and when I feel that I can eat chocolate as I have got another week to get rid of it, I have had enough of doing 2 lots of shopping, I have had enough of saying 'no thanks' ( maybe if I had said it a bit more then I wouldn't be writing all of this), I have had enough of being asked out to lunch and being ripped off by being given a huge bowl of lettuce with a couple of prawns in it and I have had enough of constantly stressing that I may not lose on those scales on a Thursday.
As the Abbey National??? advert used to say - Life's complicated enough - without me having to weigh out 40g of low fat cheddar for my jacket potato, without me gazing lustfully at the olive oil but using the synthetic spray oil instead and without me throwing more money into the coffers of those that play on our weaknesses.
The reason that I came to this decision last night are listed below -
1. I often don't want to eat 3 meals a day but feel that I have to.
2. I've sort of gone off chocolate
3. I can't drink as much wine as I would like to so I don't.
4. I quite like salad.
5. I can live without butter.
6. Bread is just a food - I don't need to eat lots of it.
7. I never buy crisps.
8. I can take or leave cakes.
9. I'm not stupid.
10. None of the people at fat club particularly inspire me.
So that was that really.
I am sat here at the moment and I am not hungry. If I was sticking to my 'diet' I would feel the need to eat something for the sake of it. Is this right or wrong?
We do not live on a diet of chips and fish fingers and I'm not a bad cook when I put my heart into it. I have given my scales away ( again ) to Leanne - she was overjoyed when she found them on her doorstep and her little boy was even more overjoyed with the 2 homemade choclate truffles that were placed in a sandwich bag on her door handle.
I can live without those scales. Many 'normal' people do and I'm sure somewhere in me somewhere is a slim and normal person just struggling to get out.
I like to analyse and the psychologies of slimming that get to me every time are the whole hopping on the scales in the morning and seeing I have gained a pound and then thinking oh sod it, I'll have a pasty. Or there's the whole 'well there's no point in doing it this week because I'm out for a meal on saturday' mentality or the worst one ever, the feeling of missing out and not knowing how to control moderation.
So day one today - I have planned dinner, I may have some breakfast soon, or I may not...........Oh I am throwing caution to the wind here aren't I?
Of course, this time next week I may be banging on Leanne's door demanding my scales and returning to fat club, the land of the not free, with my head hung low. My thighs may rub together and I may have grown an extra chin....but there again I may not.
We shall see.
Tuesday, 21 May 2013
dietdevil: Talk about...................mmmmm pop music: So yesterday's blog was a great success. It would appear that everyone liked my horrific hair and letters to myself over the years. I a...
So yesterday's blog was a great success. It would appear that everyone liked my horrific hair and letters to myself over the years. I asked the Facebook crew again this morning...............and the winner of the best suggestion was my friend and self proclaimed 'Welsh fitty' Mark Denton from Cardiff. I liked the boyo's idea................
TEN SONGS THAT TAKE ME BACK
My friend Debbie reckons I have the musical taste of a gay man and I am forced to agree. I make no apologies for any of these songs, they are just ten I have picked from memory that will always take me back to a different time or place. And they are in no particular order of how much I like them.
1.Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep by Middle of The Road
This was apparently in the charts in 1971 so I must have been 3. Back in those days everybody listened to the radio a lot and one of my first memories was of my mother singing along to it whilst doing the housework. It was catchy and fun and I would join in too. I have just listened to it again on YouTube and I have no idea whatsoever what on earth it's about.
2. Do They Know it's Christmas? by Band Aid
I was 16 and in the first year of my 'a' levels in Alnwick. The tv news had been flooded by reports and stories of the famine crisis in Ethopia and the outspoken Irish singer Bob Geldof decided to do something about it. Every pop star that was anyone at the time was involved in the song and the video is still a nostalgic treat to watch. It reminds me of being in the pub and at parties at Christmas and the opening drums and bells takes me instantly back to those places. My friend Joanne and I particularly liked Bono's line sang in true rock god fashion -
''well tonight thank god it's them instead of you''
and would sing along to it, each of us taking it in turns to be Bono.
Stock Aitken and Waterman did a naff version in the mid 80's and there was one 20 years later in 2004 which was also very good but despite a fab rap from Dizzee Rascal halfway through, the first one is most definitely the best!
3. I Guess That's Why They Call it The Blues by Elton John
I was 15 and I had been in love for the first time. My boyfriend was 2 years older than me and we had an intense 4 month relationship and it had come to a natural end. I was gutted. I was devestated and this song summed it up for me. I sat in my bedroom at 26 Bailffgate, Alnwick and slapped the single onto my trusty record player, sliding the arm over when it dropped so it would play constantly. I cried, I dabbed my eyes and then cried some more. He was the one that had initiated we 'finish' and I think my pride was broken as much as my heart.
4. Let's Dance by David Bowie
I was a little bit young to fully appreciate David Bowie when he was in his Ziggy Stardust stage, plus, my mother thought he was a freak and would turn the radio off if he came on. He did re-emerge in 1983 ish all clean cut and absolutely gorgeous. I was smitten. The girls and I had a big night out arranged at the tennis club disco which was to be held at The White Swan Hotel. I had a cord long gypsy skirt and white frilly blouse and headband but best of all...............some red shoes - this meant when David uttered that immortal line ''put on your red shoes and dance the blues'' then I was literally too cool for school.
5. Vogue by Madonna
My gay best friend Simon is Madonna's number one fan. He insisted that we go and see her live in London 2004 at Earl's Court. Simon is not a quiet man, he is the loudest queen you could meet and a bit of a snob so we obviously had to have VIP tickets. This meant, we got a free programme and a special badge to hang round our necks and were allowed into an exclusive lounge before the show where there was unlinited alcohol and nibbles. We were bladdered before we took our almost at the front seats and there was lots of celebrities there. Her opening song was this one and I will always remember thousands of other gay raving queens practically bursting into flames and doing their vogue moves. One of the funniest nights of my life.
6. Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty
This song was originally in the charts in 1978 but for some reason was playing on the radio on October 5th 1992 at 5am when I had gone into labour with Hattie. My husband was driving up the Hayle bypass to Truro while I had convinced myself that was going to give birth there and then in the passenger seat. According to my labour manual I was 100% ready and he had to drive really fast and all that we saw on the roads was wagons delivering bread. Turns out when I got to the hospital , my cervix was about a quarter of a centimetre so I think I may have peaked too soon with my childbirth expectations.
7. Ignition by R Kelly
Martha's best friend is Billie and they have been best friends for 12 years. This song was in the charts when they were about 6 and they knew it word for word. It reminds me of driving them to school in the mornings and was always on the radio. It used to tickle me that 2 girls of 6 would like such a song when all their friends were probably listening to S Club 7.
8. Eidelweiss by Captain Von Trapp
The Sound of Music was, is and always will be one of my favourite films ever. I went to the pictures to see it with my Dad when I was about 9 and I was transfixed by it all. Alps, singing nuns, handsome captains - this film had the lot. This song , sung at the Vienna Music Festival by Captain Von Trapp made me cry as he was singing the song about his favourite Austrian flower but the nazis were waiting to take him away afterwards. He breaks down halfway through so Maria, ex nun and new wife comes on stage along with the 7 children to help him sing. My dad had fallen asleep at this point but I buried my tear soaked face into his arm next to me as I was by now hysterical.
9. Pump up the Volume by Marrs
I had finally left home and gone to Leeds Polytechnic! House music was in and acid house music was soon to happen.The Poly used to hold a disco every Wednesday and Saturday where all of us homesick kids would drink far too much, dance and then drink a bit more. We were all getting to know each other but this song brought us together on the dancefloor. I loved it then and I love it now although none of it really makes sense.
10. Always on my Mind by The Pet Shop Boys ( 12 inch version)
I am a fan of The Pet Shop Boys and I am proud of it. I know they are slightly naff but I dont care. They are also from the north east and I sort of knew the lead singer's brother many years ago. This song was also recorded by Willie Nelson and Elvis but The Pet Shop Boys one is the best. The lyrics are beautiful and so is the sentiment of it all. It takes me back to Leeds again and being at a nightclub called Confetti's where this song was played all the time. I had lovely hair, it was blonde and it was straight, I was 20 and I loved every minute of my life at that time.
I also want it played at my funeral .
I could do another ten but I wont!
Monday, 20 May 2013
dietdevil: Letters to Elizabeth,Libby, Lizzie, Mabes, Liz, et...: So I feel the need to blog but I haven't done anything today that warrants writing about . It's 5 years on Wednesday since my Da...
So I feel the need to blog but I haven't done anything today that warrants writing about .
It's 5 years on Wednesday since my Dad died and I woke up with an overwhelming sense of grief which I have found difficult to shake off. I miss him lots and this time of year is particularly difficult. I have a huge photo of him on the wall in my lounge and today, I can't even look at it.
But I want to write so I threw a comment on Facebook asking for suggestions on a subject and the best one ( some were very silly! ) was a....'' letter to my younger self''
You are only 10 - stop worrying about stuff. You've only got one year left at junior school and make the most of it. Mr Beardmore, your teacher is lovely and please ignore the fact that he goes into the store cupboard for a crafty Woodbine - he's only human. You may want to think about saying no next time your mother wants to cut your hair though. There are a couple of hairdressing salons in Alnwick and I am sure that they will do a better ob than her and the trifle bowl. Lighten up a bit - it's 1978 and you'll have a blast in the 80's.
Why did you buy that 'Hint of a Tint' hair dye. Did you not for one moment think when you locked yourself in your bathroom whilst your mother was banging on the door that people at school would call you 'Duracell - the battery with the copper coloured top'? You've had a lovely time at middle school - only 120 pupils in a beautiful gothic building but remember - the 'big' school is very different. Stop thinking that the Russians are going to blow us up - they're not, Adam and the Ants are a good band but they wont last, and you really must try not to have a crush on Sebastian Coe - he turns into a tory weirdo. Oh and enjoy your first snog.
Your fashion sense has improved and your hair has settled down - a bit. Frilly collars suit you and your arty pics taken by a friend are very nice. You may want to lay off the cider at parties and lovebites are not cool even if you think they are. Have a bit more repsect for your parents - they're not perfect but they're still your Mum and Dad and one day you may have teenage daughters and karma can bite you on the arse. Oh, and also, you are in your last year of school - revise a bit harder for those 'o' levels. Seriously.
The blonde looks good so stop messing with it - the plastic earrings don't so you may want to try distressed silver when you're older. Your 'a' levels are important if you want to go to college - so stop messing about and buckle down. By missing one pill you will not get pregnant, Libya is not going to blow us up ( only aircraft ) and the person with you here will still be your friend in nearly 30 years time.
EAT for god's sake! You may enjoy being skinny but you will never ever be truly skinny without starving yourself. It's not worth it and when you are 45 you will spend your life trying silly diets but will secretly be happy that you have a bum and boobs! That perm is going to take years to grow out - really - years and years but your taste in earrings is nearly there. Keep going - you're going to be having babies and buying houses soon so you need a bit of meat on those bones.
ok, so life hasn't been a box of chocolates but you've certainly tucked into a fair few. Embrace yourself as you are here - a few rocky times ahead but you do look happy. Life has its' ups and downs and you are surrounded by funny and lovely people that like you for what you are. Oh and don't have that last glass of wine tonight - you know where it will end.
the two young ladies either side of you will be your pride and joy but also the cause of many a hormone fuelled scrap, a sleepless night and pleny of tears. They are both half of you and you will see things in them of yourself that you like and other bits that you think, 'karma' - as mentioned above. Remember you were a teenager once so cut them a bit of slack and also bear in mind that they will be the ones looking after you when you are old and wrinkly.
Saturday, 18 May 2013
dietdevil: Royal Queens and Eurovision Queens....which do I p...: So it's been a busy weekend in St Ives Cornwall. Firstly there was a visit from HRH Elizabeth 2nd and the whole town came to a st...