Monday, 15 September 2014

What's a number anyway ?

 
So I've been thinking . It's something I do a lot of and possibly too much of but it's something that I'm unlikely to change now at the ripe old age of 46.

I'm thinking about numbers and quite specifically the numbers that flash up on the dreaded scales . Yes , I'm still a serial weigher and have even taken to making a note of my daily weight on my fancy iPhone . I make charts and graphs because I'm far from someone that has OCD but I do like to see statistics - I think  they're vital ( see what I did there ?) when you're attempting to lose weight !

Today I'm up one!

This can't be right but I saw it with my own eyes , just before I growled .

And this is the point of my blog today ......

Will we ever be happy with our lot and really what does a number mean when logically I'm not going to look or feel any differently from yesterday ?

My old fat club consultant said to me that if you pretty much still eat the same as when you were losing weight but nothing else budges  , then you're at the weight you're meant to be . This makes complete sense but I need to use this as my mantra instead of beating myself up about it .

Since doing the weighing at fat club I see dozens of women of varying weights , shapes and sizes hopping on and off those scales and I know more than anyone that 3 people that all weigh the same aren't necessarily going to look the same.

We are all different and as much as I often think it would be nice to have smaller boobs or narrower hips - IT ISN'T EVER GOING TO HAPPEN!

if I paid more attention to that stupid bmi chart then I would never get to target and my new clothes now span over at least 3 different sizes depending on the cut and the shop so these numbers are never going to be simple .

So my point is - and I know I've blogged this countless times ..... I may ditch the scales ( apart from the official ones ) and calm down and practise what I've just preached .

That's all I had to say and I've done this blog on my mobile and if I'm feeling very adventurous I may just delete my weight data ........

What's a number anyway ?

So I've been thinking . It's something I do a lot of and possibly too much of but it's something that I'm unlikely to change now at the ripe old age of 46.

I'm thinking about numbers and quite specifically the numbers that flash up on the dreaded scales . Yes , I'm still a serial weigher and have even taken to making a note of my daily weight on my fancy iPhone . I make charts and graphs because I'm far from someone that has OCD but I do like to see statistics - I think  they're vital ( see what I did there ?) when you're attempting to lose weight !

Today I'm up one!

This can't be right but I saw it with my own eyes , just before I growled .

And this is the point of my blog today ......

Will we ever be happy with our lot and really what does a number mean when logically I'm not going to look or feel any differently from yesterday ?

My old fat club consultant said to me that if you pretty much still eat the same as when you were losing weight but nothing else budges  , then you're at the weight you're meant to be . This makes complete sense but I need to use this as my mantra instead of beating myself up about it .

Since doing the weighing at fat club I see dozens of women of varying weights , shapes and sizes hopping on and off those scales and I know more than anyone that 3 people that all weigh the same aren't necessarily going to look the same.

We are all different and as much as I often think it would be nice to have smaller boobs or narrower hips - IT ISN'T EVER GOING TO HAPPEN!

if I paid more attention to that stupid bmi chart then I would never get to target and my new clothes now span over at least 3 different sizes depending on the cut and the shop so these numbers are never going to be simple .

So my point is - and I know I've blogged this countless times ..... I may ditch the scales ( apart from the official ones ) and calm down and practise what I've just preached .

That's all I had to say and I've done this blog on my mobile and if I'm feeling very adventurous I may just delete my weight data ........


Sunday, 14 September 2014

I'm back with my machine of dreams.

So it has been a long long 2 and a half months since I dipped my toe into the pool of blogging. I have missed it. I'm not sure if I have been missed but I am back.
 
 
The summer in St Ives has been and gone and I am now ( sort of ) enjoying a Sunny September. I am back at fat club every week, I have been given the role of the weighing lady and I have kept off the weight I have lost and am still a target member...........which means that after the thousands of pounds I have spent in my life at trying not to be fat, I no longer have to pay.
 
 
So what's it like to be at 'target'? Shall I say..........and shall I be honest?
 
IT'S ACE!
 
I don't go surfing, I haven't discovered a new inner me and I haven't felt the need to climb any mountains.
 
I have bought nice new clothes, I have continued to make relatively wise choices with my food, I still have my culinary flops and I will speak to anyone that asks about how I did it.
 
And that's about it really.
 
 
Yesterday I bought a Tefal Actifry.
 
 
 
 
Any readers out there may recall that I have said on more than one occasion that chips are indeed my favourite vegetable. I make them in a healthy manner ( squirted with low cal oil spray and chucked in the oven ) and yes, they are ok. BUT they aren't like what you would buy at the chippy.
 
Let's be honest here though folks - the only chips that taste like they have been bought at the chippy ARE chips that were bought from the chippy but I have to say that my actifry ones were pretty darned tasty. They were so tasty and I was so impressed that so far today I have done sausages in it, I have roast potatoes in it as I speak and I have some parsnips and honey just waiting to be fried in an active way. It's all healthy and it's all good.
 
And during my absence I haven't been a total angel with regards to my food consumption. I have had numerous meals out,  I have clinked various glasses of prosecco ( my new merlot )   and I actually put on 4 pounds after a weekend with Rachael ( one of my new years resolutions was to meet her ) BUT I got it all off the next week because as lovely as it all is I simply don't want to go back to being a porker.
 
So, if any of you are after a top tip with this slimming malarkey , that's it really.
 
Yes, have treats and yes, have the odd blow out but don't let that blow out continue.
 
Life is all about living.
 
And crispy chips.
 
 
 
 


Thursday, 3 July 2014

Relax I'm still here.............

So I haven't blogged for ages. I have been doing the #100happydays malarkey instead and I am now on day 86. It's been a blast but it's nearly over now and so I thought I would gently ease myself back into blogging in a gentle and ladylike manner in a bid to try and get some of my Ukranians back.
 
Or anyone from Chad - I'm not fussy .
 
And the last time I blogged was 3 and a half months ago. Have you missed me?
 
I am still at my fat club target although I am tending to bob around a bit - up 2,  down 3, stay the same etc etc. I am happy with this. I did ask some die hard Slimming World target members the secret to their still snake like hips and they suggested having extra bread ( shriek! ) or the odd extra lump of cheese ( swoon ) but it was all a bit vague ....so the secret to my success is just to still follow the plan and if I feel the need to have a burger ( like today ) then I am good for the next few days and fingers crossed it seems to be working.
 
I have returned to a weekly class though . I like the banter plus I like the cereal bars. It also keeps me in check if I know that the results of my very busy social life will show at the scales.
 
And speaking of busy - I am a crumpled waif at the moment. I am doing a quiz on a Monday and Tuesday and it may not sound difficult but it definitely is. I have to keep control of lots and lots of drunk people and some of them seriously need a bit of a slap. My friend Debbie used to do the quiz with me years ago, and I always remember her saying when we got to the pub one night -
 
''no matter how easy you think this quiz is, for some people it will never be easy''
 
and that basically sums it up.
 
I have been heckled, shouted at, hassled and there's a couple of you out there that have had a little tantrum because you haven't won. I don't care who wins. I get paid to do it and as long as the majority of people there appear to be having fun then that's good enough for me.
 
I am off to London next week to see Robbie Williams with Nicola. We have had the usual last minute drama with the tickets but after a few strongly worded emails and some twitter cursing, they have now arrived. hallelujah.
 
The week after next I am off to Cardiff to see H graduate. For those of you that don't follow me on facebook , you will have missed the drama of the dresses. I need to have exactly the right thing to wear for this momentous occasion. So far I have bought -
 
1. An emerald green tea dress from Fat Face. This is still my outright favourite however I cant wear it unless my boobs shrink between now and the 15th July. My chest will take over the entire ceremony and possibly most of South Wales so it's unfortunately a no-no.
 
2. A Jane Norman navy effort. It would look nice at a funeral or if I got an OBE.
 
3. A very nice one from Viva, the clothes shop on the corner. I thought that this was the one but I saw someone wearing the same one last night at fat club and I wasn't happy.
 
4. A White Stuff one with butterflies on. Too smocky and I wore it out for lunch last week and so it's no longer a virgin.
 
THE WINNER IS -
 
A white linen one with a nice lace border.
 
I got it from Tescos up Camborne and it cost £16.
 
 I am going to accessorise.
 
I still have 12 days of course to change my mind but am going to try and be disciplined.
 
 And coincidentally the penultimate #happydays photo will be of H in her cap and gown. This was not intended but I think is a jolly nice way to bring it to an end.
 
An then you blog fans can have me back.
 
You're welcome.
 
 

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

dietdevil: Sniff Sniff Sniff

dietdevil: Sniff Sniff Sniff: So in case any of you have missed this - I LOVE springer spaniels. I have 3 of them and I adore them and the Mummy of the youngest one has ...

Sniff Sniff Sniff

So in case any of you have missed this - I LOVE springer spaniels. I have 3 of them and I adore them and the Mummy of the youngest one has just had more puppies so I went to visit.
 
They were squishy and they were cute and they made little 'ooh ooh ' noises and I basically wanted to sniff them for hours and nibble their ears. I obviously didn't do this as I do occasionally manage to control myself in puppy type situations but they were adorable!
 


 
And as cute as they all are - they will grow into these .........
 
 
So there will be no new additions to the Noall Spaniel gang - definitely not!
 
But isn't there something totally delicious about the smell of anything baby? Whether it is a dog or a cat, or even an actual human, it makes my ovaries throb and my head go a little fuzzy. I love them and that is that.
 
And moving on from our canine chums, my life has been a little up and down recently.
I am very proud of myself for handling it quite well though and despite being stressed and upset over things I cant really do anything about, I haven't sunk into the awful depression that I had last year. My pecker has been well and truly up and as awful as my annus horribilus 2013 was, in a way it did me a favour as the events of this year are nowhere near as bad as the things that caused me to crumble last year.
 
And I appear to be still at target weight wise!
 
I have thrown in a few treats on a Thursday and Friday ( not sausage rolls or doughnuts I hasten to add ) and I eat my normal healthy stuff for the remainder of the week. I am never going to be 100% happy with myself but then again who is? and I am enjoying the moment and may try and tackle another half stone at some point in the future but not just yet.
 
And spring has sprung!
 
St Ives was shrouded in a weird fog last week and I am ecstatic to announce there has been no rain for what seems like ages now. The farm where the beautiful puppies live was bathed in golden sunshine and driving back through the winding lanes there was birds chirping and it was all very lovely.
 
I also have been overtaken by quiz type things. I am resuming doing the weekly quiz for the local pub on a Monday and am doing a couple of charity ones soon and then before I know it I am back up the campsite every Tuesday. I enjoy them and love having a microphone
''look at me and listen to me''
 so it's all good.
 
And of course - 3 huge events to look forward to
 
1. Dolly in Cardiff
 
2. Robbie at the O2
 
3. Hattie graduating.
 
Diamante and tassels for the first, Gig chic for the second and posh frock for the third so I best start saving and then get myself off doing the sort of shopping that I actually like now - clothes!
 

Sunday, 9 March 2014

dietdevil: My heart strings were tugged today and I wore shor...

dietdevil: My heart strings were tugged today and I wore shor...: So I went shopping and I saw something in Tescos that made me feel very sad. It's too personal to put on here in case the 2 people in q...

My heart strings were tugged today and I wore shorts.

So I went shopping and I saw something in Tescos that made me feel very sad. It's too personal to put on here in case the 2 people in question should read it but it made me fill up a bit. I am saying no more. Life can be a total bitch and it definitely has been for these people.
 
I am moving swiftly on.
 I did an austerity shop. I hate shopping at the best of times and I have now been lured by the cheap meats of Camborne so anything that was thrown into my trolley was thrown in with a roll of my eyes and a loud 'TUT'! I excelled myself with some of the bargains I found though and not  a single one had a value sticker on so I was doubly pleased.  I think the depressing thing about food shopping though is the fact that no matter what you buy, you will have to go and do the same thing again the following week. Shopping day is groundhog day as far as I'm concerned.
 
And the weather is gorgeous! The predicted heatwave did arrive.
 
Too good to be shopping for long and so I took advantage and I did some weeding. I am not one of life's natural gardeners by any stretch of the imagination. Armed with my new hoe and wearing a pair of shorts that kept falling down I tackled it. I then realised that I had no idea where my gloves were so I went in bareback. There was a couple of whopping worms and I touched one and managed not to vomit and carried on until the front garden was weed free and the bulbs that Leanne gave me were planted. She even walked past my house and I am sure she was doing it to check that I was doing it right too. I could tell she was impressed.
 
And the good news is that I appear to be back at my target weight after the pastry shenanigans. I was good yesterday and have been good today and thankfully feel a lot better. Roast turkey for dinner with some of my beloved sprouts and a large glass of merlot should finish off the day nicely. I have nearly finished the quiz for the quiz final on Thursday with just a bit of nipping and tweaking required. Some of the questions are easy and some are real stinkers but it should sort the wheat from the proverbial chaff. I like both the teams that are partaking in the final and I really wouldn't like to say who I think would win but it will be a good night.
 
As long as I avoid the buffet obviously.
 
I also was going to attempt one of my infamous recipes using things that you can eat on Slimming World. It was pancakes and there was smash potato in them. I didn't have any smash in my cupboard and I fancied bacon and eggs instead so I didn't bother. I am thinking that tomorrow I will instead. My friend Jenna assured me that they were quite nice but I think they may be a no no from the word go as I don't really like pancakes that much anyway. These things need to be tried though - if only for the comedy factor.
 
And finally, this month I am determined to finish reading the book group book as I have been quite naughty recently. This month's choice is 'The Book Thief' and by all accounts it is a cracker. The trouble is that I am reading yet another Jenny Éclair and she is very funny whereas the book group choice is set in Nazi Germany so I am guessing the laughs will be few and far between.
 
We all need a bit of humour in our lives but we all need to read allocated books too so I am going to finish this blog right now and crack on.
 
 

Saturday, 8 March 2014

dietdevil: I am Gillian McKeith.............but I don't look ...

dietdevil: I am Gillian McKeith.............but I don't look ...: So here was my idea for Thursday.....have no dinner and enjoy the buffet at the quiz. Great in principle but not so great when you are on y...

I am Gillian McKeith.............but I don't look at people's poo.

So here was my idea for Thursday.....have no dinner and enjoy the buffet at the quiz. Great in principle but not so great when you are on your third drink by the time the buffet arrives.
 
When it got there it was fine and I may have even salivated a little. There were big fat sandwiches, onion rings , chips and rather a lot of scampi. I was on my fifth piece when I said 'I don't know what the hell is inside these breadcrumbs but I like it' and Geordie Andy reliably informed me it was scampi, the great culinary masterpiece of the 1980's. Anyway, I had 4 doubles and was fine and came home full of scampi, bread and booze - three of my now  favourite things.
 
Yesterday I was hanging. Not since Polish Christmas have I been so hungover and that rendered me incapable of speaking for at least 2 days. I started off okay in the morning but as soon as 3pm hit I went down quicker than a whore's drawers. It was not good and in a moment of stupidity I convinced myself that I needed some stodge so I trotted off to Warrens and bought -
 
2 x sausage rolls ( jumbo ones )
 
2 x doughnuts ( one jam and one had something sweet and sticky inside  it )
 
I ate them and at the risk of sounding like Gillian Mckeith or Gwyneth Paltrow they made me feel even worse. I had palpitations and I was giddy and not with pleasure and this leads me to the belief that it wasn't what I drank but what I ate!
 
To some of you this may sound lame, but I think it's true. For the past 6 months I have been virtually virtuous and I think the overload of fried stuff and bread stuff pushed my now healthy insides over the edge. The sausage rolls ( jumbo ) and the doughnuts added to this. It taught me a couple of lessons.
 
1. I should have had my dinner before the quiz and then just had a couple of bits as a treat.
 
2. Pastry and cakes are no longer my friends.
 
3. In future when people tell me to have a cake I can say 'oh no I have an allergy' and look like a bit of a knobhead.
 
And so today I got back on it. This was after weighing on my newly reclaimed scales and seeing that I am a pound up.
 
Was it worth it?  - not really.
 
Will I do it again? - probably but perhaps not as much.
 
And it is true what dear old Gillian says - you are what you eat and generally if you eat crap you feel crap. I realise I am possibly being a bit of a smug dieter here, but at the moment this is how I feel.
 
Today I have cleansed myself and feel a lot better. Lots of fruit and veg and meat. I am hoping that I will get rid of the surplus by fat club on Wednesday and if I don't then I will take it on the chins.
 
And on a jolly note - I saw an old friend today who groped me , presumably to do a flubber check and was amazed at how much  weight I had lost. It's times like this it's worth it and I am thankful that the aroma of sausage roll and doughnut had been replaced by porridge and banana.

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

dietdevil: Being a huffy madam and the return of my beautifu...

dietdevil: Being a huffy madam and the return of my beautifu...: So it was first weigh in today after being at target and I maintained. I should technically be happy with this but there is a little bit of...

Being a huffy madam and the return of my beautiful scales and where the hell is Larry?

So it was first weigh in today after being at target and I maintained. I should technically be happy with this but there is a little bit of the huffy in me today and it's hard to get used to not  losing. I need to get over myself and chill out.
 
I had a cheeseburger and chips a week ago and 2 extra slices of bread on Saturday and apart from that I have been as angelic as I will ever be.  The whole point of setting a target weight is to be at a weight you want to be at and are able to maintain yet I have still got a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle. It is also my time of the month so that is why I want to growl, froth and cry all at the same time. I should maybe make a list of nice things and count my blessings but at this precise moment I want to sit in a dark room and listen to Dido and maybe eat a pie or two. Tomorrow I will be better.
 
I heard from one of my oldest friends last night. She emigrated to Canada 15 years ago and we last saw each other when we were both pregnant - me with my youngest and her with her oldest. Time flies and we yapped and laughed for over an hour and promised that we wouldn't leave it so long until next time. Maybe this is why I am a bit glum today? Everyone is getting older. Even me.
 
On a positive note -  I have now got the nice scales back in their rightful place. These are the ones that show my correct weight and don't tease me. Angela from fat club gave me them back this morning and I nearly kissed them and her. I haven't hopped on yet but I know they are there - almost like a comfort blanket really and to put my fragile ego at rest for the days I get a bit wobbly. Every so often I will do my 'I do not need  scales' rant, but if the truth be known, I totally do.
 
And today is the start of Lent. I was going to give up bread, then it was meat , then it was wine and then it was chocolate and then I thought oh stop already. I gave up booze for all of January, I don't eat bread much, I bloody love meat and I have gone off chocolate so there is nothing really to give up that will have that much of an impact on me or my lifestyle so I am giving up giving up. Obviously giving up meat would have an impact but I am sure you can all remember my one day of vegetarianism last year and how I was practically eyeing up my spaniels by lunchtime.
 
And it is book group tonight and I am hoping for a Viagra of a book to help revive my severely flagging reading mojo. I am a book geek, a reader, a devourer of fiction , and nothing seems to be floating my boat at the moment.............apart from Jenny Éclair and that's probably only because she has the same name as a cake! I want to have a book that I don't want to put down, a book that I think about when I am not reading it and a book that makes me sad to finish. Am I being demanding? Yes.
 
So before you all feel the need to slit your wrists after reading this, I am going to cheer myself up. I am going to eat some curry for lunch and to make some lists and to just basically snap out of the doldrums. I will be back tomorrow, happy as the proverbial Larry, whoever he may be.
 

Monday, 3 March 2014

dietdevil: Scales, Soup and Spring is trying to spring. And s...

dietdevil: Scales, Soup and Spring is trying to spring. And s...: So I got my scales back from Beccy. I am weak. I need them and I had almost forgotten that in a rash moment a couple of years ago I gave th...

Scales, Soup and Spring is trying to spring. And some serious stuff too.

So I got my scales back from Beccy. I am weak. I need them and I had almost forgotten that in a rash moment a couple of years ago I gave them away with strict instructions not to return until I got to target! I obviously bought another set which I then gave away a few weeks back to Angela from Camborne. I got the ones back off Beccy on Saturday. This excited me.
 
My excitement soon wore off though once I got on them and my weight fluctuated by half a stone in the space of me having a bath. This morning I appear to have lost 3 stone but I have gained 2 throughout the day. They are playing games with my fragile ego so I have asked Angela to bring back my other set when she comes to fat club on Wednesday. I need them . I try and kid myself I don't but I do and I wont be happy until they are back in their rightful place.
 
I had one of my soup moments this morning. I get them every so often and I am crap at making soup and if I'm honest I don't really like it that much either. I dry fried off loads of left over veg from last night's roast and then brought it to the boil, threw in an Oxo and put it on to simmer. It smelt ansum it really did.
And then I forgot that it was simmering and it had to be chiselled off the bottom of the pan and all I am saying is that it's a good job it was a good quality Jamie Oliver pan and it has lived to tell the tale. I hate him but his cookware is divine.
Leanne has said to leave the soup shenanigans to her and I can deal with the fish. She made a fish pie yesterday which by all accounts made her 'gip'. The whole lot was binned and I know there are lots of starving people in the world but from what she was saying I don't think they would have wanted it either.
 
And it's sunny!
 
And sort of dry!
 
There are baby birdies singing and definite little buds appearing and it is mellow and not so cold. I got my sunglasses out. I went for a walk and didn't wear them but I know where they are for future reference. This is good. I always find spring a promising month and I know that there is that old saying 'cast ne'er a clowt til May is out' but the first sniff of any remotely warm weather will prompt me into getting flip flopped and t shirted. It has to be done .
 
A serious bit now......................I rarely watch the news and I never read a newspaper but this whole Ukraine thing is worrying me now. I don't like the phrase 'world war three' being bandied about. When I was a lassie up in Northumberland in the 80's there was always that dark undercurrent of a threat that Russia was going to nuke America and because we had their missiles deployed at Greenham Common then we would get a slap on the way  past too. There was then Gadaffi and Libya in the mid 80's and then Saddam in the late 80's and into the 90's and then it wasn't nukes they were talking but chemical warfare. It is frightening and I don't really understand any of it.
 
All I know is that despite the monstrous weather the last few weeks I am glad I live where I do. We completely take for granted our health and our lives and my moaning about scales and burnt soup is zilch in comparison to the fear that the people over there must be going through. Life is cheap in some parts of the world, totally meaningless and this makes me sad.
 
And on that thoroughly depressing note, I am about to give Jamie's pan another chance. This time with some chilli.
 
.
 
 

Saturday, 1 March 2014

dietdevil: Apparently they taste like hob nobs.

dietdevil: Apparently they taste like hob nobs.: So - day 4 of being at target and I had lunch out. I had soup and my friend had a burger. And chips. There was a drizzle of cream on top of...

Apparently they taste like hob nobs.

So - day 4 of being at target and I had lunch out. I had soup and my friend had a burger. And chips. There was a drizzle of cream on top of my soup and 2 chunks of bread. I ate it all. I am maybe pushing my luck or chancing my arm or both but it was the friendliest thing on the menu for me today.
 
And lunch was at The Hub. Honestly, the more I go there, the more I like it. Their banquettes are comfy and the place is always very lively. Oh and the view is great too. One woman on the way in fell and head butted the door and one woman on the way out nearly lost her fingers in a jamming incident so there was plenty to look at. When I say jamming, I mean she jammed them in the door and she wasn't playing the guitar with Jimmy Hendrix.
 
Tonight I am doing stuff in the kitchen again. I am making my infamous cauliflower bread  and I am also making something, which according to my friend Jenna 'tastes just like hob nobs'. Now in the grand scheme of things I don't really care for Hob Nobs but I am always up for a culinary adventure. Sometimes it's a hit and sometimes it's a miss. For example -
 
Quinoa Carrot Cake - surprisingly edible
Swiss Roll - nomch
Chickpea Hummus - Don't even go there
Magic Pancakes - Hurl - I'm still nervous around lots of eggs
Smash Pizzas - Meh
 
So I am not sure where these Hob Nobs will be on my list. They will be baked tonight and dunked into my black coffee in the morning. I am not going to reveal the ingredients but I may throw in a few sultanas just for the heck of it.

  I have just made them and I even threw in a sliced banana. I need to calm it down a bit. For those of you reading this that are true fans of a chunkier biscuit, you may want to look away..........
 
 
They smell nice, they look rough and in the words of Peter Kay, Hob Nobs are the royal marines of the biscuit world and  they can survive some hard core dunking.
 
Bring on the dunking tomorrow!
 

Friday, 28 February 2014

dietdevil: Sometimes you need a bit of nomch.

dietdevil: Sometimes you need a bit of nomch.: So this week has been quite a week. Freddy is less of a man and I am a target member of fat club and I have to say it is quite liberating. ...

Sometimes you need a bit of nomch.

So this week has been quite a week. Freddy is less of a man and I am a target member of fat club and I have to say it is quite liberating. I have eaten more than normal ( all good stuff ) I only want to see scales on a Wednesday and I fitted a new skirt yesterday that I never thought I would. This is all new to me.
 
Heck, I may even throw some carbs into my meals on Tuesday I am so chilled, and of course anyone that knows me will laugh at this bit as I am rarely chilled at all.
 
Last night was a night out with the quiz geeks and we won! I managed to say 'James Blunt' instead of 'Morecambe and Wise' but I did get 'Newquay' and 'Ben Kinglsey'. I really think my skill lies with writing quizzes as opposed to playing them and there was rather too much sport for my liking.
 
And my new hair is holding up. I even managed to make it look relatively respectable for last night. When I left the house it was damp ( the weather, not my hair ) and  when I left the pub to come home it was torrential rain but luckily, the mature gentleman of our team, Pat, leant me his scarf to wrap around my head to save my straight locks turning into a Diana Ross fro. And today has been no better. Just when we got used to a bit of sunshine, the gale force winds and the unrelenting wet is back. We in St Ives do not like this.
 
Tonight is one of those days when I need some good old fashioned stodge so I am cooking that Cornish favourite - raw fry. I made it last week and it proved very popular and so am doing it again this evening. Washed down with a cheeky glass of merlot and I think it will be perfect. I love food and contrary to what some may think as I am always on a 'diet' that I may eat only lettuce but I don't. I seriously adore nothing better than a nice meal in my belly and something nice to wash it down with, it's just all about finding different ways to cook things and being able to adapt favourite recipes so they are kinder to your hips.
 
And that is basically all there is to it. And all that is left for me to do is to enjoy this.......and yes, it tastes nicer than it looks!
 
 
Cheers!
 

Wednesday, 26 February 2014

dietdevil: I got a shiny pin thing and then I ate a burger.

dietdevil: I got a shiny pin thing and then I ate a burger.: So at approximately 9.32 am on Wednesday February 26th 2014 I got to target at Slimming World. They had run out of certificates but I got a...

I got a shiny pin thing and then I ate a burger.

So at approximately 9.32 am on Wednesday February 26th 2014 I got to target at Slimming World. They had run out of certificates but I got a nice shiny pin.
 
 
The defining moment was actually quite underwhelming. I hopped on and the numbers flashed at me and I filled up a little bit but slim people are always a bit flaky aren't they?
 
Anyway , enough of that - I want to talk about our grand day out.
 
The sun was shining in Camborne and I have to say there is a LOT of charity shops there. We rifled through them all and Leanne bought 2 pie dishes, a lemon squeezer that has now broken and I bought a nice Next top. I wanted to buy a bright pink jacket but was dissuaded. The pound shops were fantastic and I have to say that this is something that St Ives is definitely missing. A Shake and Vac, 2 lots of nice hair conditioner, 2 packets of smash and a feather duster - all for £6 - ansum!
 
And then it was lunch at Birdies Bistro on the Hayle Estuary. I had only heard good things about the place and today I certainly wasn't disappointed. Light , airy and contemporary , great service ,  even better food and 2 very naughty glasses of wine and an even naughtier slice of carrot cake for puddy and it was perfect.
 
Tomorrow is a new week and I am going to continue eating how I have since September. I cant see the point in changing anything and of course I now don't have to pay and I am allowed to go 3 pounds either side of my target weight. It is all new territory for me and I shall chug on as before. If I lose a little bit more weight then I may drop my target but for the moment I am going to enjoy being where I am. I will never be a stick and I think half the battle is accepting that we are all different builds and shapes and sizes, and we must be happy that no two of us are the same.
 
Onwards and, oh, yes , the same.
 
 
 

Tuesday, 25 February 2014

dietdevil: We can all get the chop and bring it on Cambruth! ...

dietdevil: We can all get the chop and bring it on Cambruth! ...: So Freddy is now minus his crown jewels. He isn't looking very happy, but I wasn't too happy either when the first thing he did on ...

We can all get the chop and bring it on Cambruth! Or Redborne!

So Freddy is now minus his crown jewels. He isn't looking very happy, but I wasn't too happy either when the first thing he did on his return from the vets was to try and bite Mutley. I am giving him a few days to work those nasty male hormones out of his post anaesthetic body and if he continues to behave in such a way then it is on to Plan B. I want my animals ( and myself ) to be happy and at this precise moment I do not want to discuss it any more.
 
And as tomorrow is Wednesday and I am virtually carb free and therefore a little bit hysterical and am clutching at the proverbial straws in a hopeful attempt to get to target - I decide to come out in sympathy with Freddy and I have also had the chop. My frizz and unruly mop has gone and I think I look very sensible. I am also hoping that what came off weighed one and a half pounds.......
 
 
And tomorrow I am a little bit excited regardless of whether I lose or not. I am off up Camborne and Redruth with Leanne. We are taking austerity measures to the extreme and are raiding the  charity shops. We have been told that those  shops up that end of Cornwall are much much more refined than the ones in St Ives. Speaking of which I am going to have a mini rant.
 
I have given all of my fat clothes to the BHF shop round the corner which is quite ironic really. I go in there quite a lot as I decide to throw yet  another bag full of tents out and I have to say that the 'staff' are ridiculously miserable.
 
Yes I know it's a voluntary job and yes I know that you probably meet some right types in there ( me ) but FOR GOD'S SAKE - SMILE!
 
Anyway, back to my spiritual home of Cambruth/Redborne - we are also going to go to the pound shops as this is another thing that St Ives is sadly lacking. I really want to buy 18 packets of noodles for a quid and Leanne is apparently after Pyrex. My friend Debbie reckons that we will be amazed at the bargains and I am hoping for some Boden or Monsoon.
 
And I hosted the quiz last night at Morvah. It was a lovely night. I got a thank you bottle of wine but I also got a whopping big quiz book which made my tummy churn with a geek type pleasure a bit. There was also lots of nude paintings of vaginas behind where I was standing and I think I showed my immaturity by giggling. It was funny though.
 
Quiet night in tonight. Shenanigans tomorrow and I have to fit in DAY TWO of my quest to run 5k. I could walk today which was a plus and I am almost looking forward to pounding the sands of Porthmeor again. We are lunching out after our bargain bonanza so I will need to run that little bit faster. ...but there again my lack of hair wont weigh me down.
 
Fingers crossed for tomorrow folks. I am trying to be all cool and not stamp my feet too much.
 

Monday, 24 February 2014

dietdevil: Oh my - Fifty Shades of Pink

dietdevil: Oh my - Fifty Shades of Pink: So I ran. Oh yes I did and I was like the wind. Ok it was more of a gentle breeze mingled with some heavy breathing but I did exactly what ...

Oh my - Fifty Shades of Pink

So I ran. Oh yes I did and I was like the wind. Ok it was more of a gentle breeze mingled with some heavy breathing but I did exactly what the American man said on the phone app.
 
There was a point when he said 'hey you're helfwayyyyyy' through that I wanted to smash the phone and my head against the nearest rock but I obviously didn't. That would be silly.
 
We couldn't have picked a nicer location and day to start -  
 
 
And I have to say that this BEFORE picture captures my fresh faced innocence and enthusiasm perfectly.
 
 
Anyway, we warmed up, we ran , we walked, we ran , we walked, we ran - I think you get the picture and I am proud to announce that I managed to do it all which was something I definitely couldn't do last September. I am not sure if I have to go tomorrow or it is a rest day but according to the fancy app I will be running 5k in 8 weeks. As an imperial child, I have no idea how far 5k is but I am not holding my breath about it. LOL.
 
There are no after pictures. Suffice to say that my Northumbrian freckled and slightly pale tones turned various shades of pink and I was glistening in the after glow of exercise.
 
I am very proud of myself .
 
Oh and M started working at the local organic trendy burger joint last week and I have been subjected to every burger known to man being brought home and munched in front of me.
 
And for this reason , and because I am athletic, I am having a homemade burger and chips for dinner.
 
All low fat of course.
 
 
 
 

Sunday, 23 February 2014

dietdevil: Run for the sun.........

dietdevil: Run for the sun.........: So my gear is laid out. The app is ready. There is no stopping me.   I am going tomorrow morning at approximately 09.15 hours. It will ...

Run for the sun.........

So my gear is laid out. The app is ready. There is no stopping me.
 
I am going tomorrow morning at approximately 09.15 hours. It will be the beach. I know it's harder to run on sand ( ooh get me ) but the view will be lush and I refuse to run around town. I do have a little self respect, just not very much.
 
And who remembers the minging dress? The orange effort that I was going to fit at Christmas?
 
Well it's still not fitting but it does nearly  and I looked at myself in it and I basically looked rank. I refuse to donate it to the BHF just yet and I shall persevere.
 
M went out for a drive today in the car and was so nervous that it was almost sweet. Unfortunately due to the high winds one of the 'L' plates blew off the car an I think she was quite relieved. Her older sister passed after only 5 months and I think she is hoping to do the same, which leaves just over 3 months until she does it. And I really hope she does do it because if she doesn't then it will be World War 3 here. I didn't pass my test until I was 38 and I always wanted to ensure that both the girls weren't older learners.
 
I have had another day ( and hopefully the last day ) of Freddie behaving like a cross between Kevin and Perry and Rambo. He will be over that vets tomorrow morning before I can say 'plums' and I am praying that this operation will do the trick.
 
And I am quite looking forward to the week ahead too. Catching up with friends, quizzing, lunch out, getting my roots done and last but not least - maybe being a fat club target member. I have already said that I think this last 1.5 pounds will come off an ounce at a time and I hope my impatience doesn't make me turn to pies. Mmm pies.
 
And then it will be March and then it will be nearly Easter. Doesn't time fly? I think we are all ready for some lovely spring sunshine on our skin. I know I certainly am as I am sick of being wet and white and miserable looking. I basically want my freckles back as they distract from my wrinkles.
 
There will be photos tomorrow - before and after.
 
I am sure you all cant wait.

Saturday, 22 February 2014

dietdevil: Cake, Couch and Cauliflower.....and will 1.5 pound...

dietdevil: Cake, Couch and Cauliflower.....and will 1.5 pound...: So I had some of the cake. I don't think Mary Berry or Mr Kipling have anything to worry about. I had it with sweetened quark plopped o...

Cake, Couch and Cauliflower.....and will 1.5 pounds make me look different?

So I had some of the cake. I don't think Mary Berry or Mr Kipling have anything to worry about. I had it with sweetened quark plopped on the top and I had it for breakfast. And why not?  I was feeling a little continental.
 
I took some up to Leanne and she gave me a bowl of rogan josh and rice and for this I needed naan bread and it just so happens I saw a recipe for 'bread' last night on Facebook which involves -
 
Cauliflower
Eggs
Herbs
Onion
Cheese
A bloody miracle
 
It is now in my oven. I didn't pulse the boiled  cauliflower enough and there is a stalk of it sticking up in the middle, almost like a vegetable erection. I am an optimist when it comes to food though so I am crossing everything that it tastes better than it looks.
 
I have also downloaded the couch to 5k app back onto my iPhone and starting Monday I am going to do it. I started last September but life got in the way a bit and I only went twice and I deleted the app and got one about BMI instead. I am going to the beach ( again ) to do it and am going with Leanne ( again ) to do it but as I am a lot lighter than a few months ago I am hoping that I can actually run without wearing 2 bras and wheezing after a few yards. It will give any dog walkers and people enjoying a coffee with a view something to laugh at. There will be photos.
 
And I was thinking today about my last elusive 1.5 pounds.
 
Will that amount of weight really make me look any different?
It will mean that I don't have to pay to go to fat club any more but I cant work out which part of my body it will disappear from. IF I could choose it would be my tummy. I quite like my boobs and my arms and legs and I am scared of scraggy neck syndrome so the belly would be the obvious place. I am never going to have a washboard stomach on account of the fact that I have had kids and I would like to point out that M was an absolute whopper and 17 years on it still brings tears to my eyes thinking about it . But beggars cant be choosers and IF that last bit does go then unfortunately I will have to be happy about where it goes from.
 
And on a final note. Young Freddy my baby springer will be losing a couple of pounds himself on Monday. He is booked in for the removal of his crown jewels. I have told him all about it and he looked a bit worried but I'm afraid that he has become a little aggressive towards Mutley and we need to get rid of some of the testosterone. It has caused a lot of arguments in my house but I have put my foot down. The richest vet in Cornwall has said to bring him over by 8.30 and hopefully when he is licking his wounds he will realise there is a consequence to his actions.
 
Poor Freddy. It will hurt me a lot more than it will hurt him.
 
 

Friday, 21 February 2014

dietdevil: Quizzes, Quinoa and Queen Victoria.

dietdevil: Quizzes, Quinoa and Queen Victoria.: So I lost another half on Wednesday. I have one and a half to lose and this is going to take for ever. It's a 'weighting' game!...

Quizzes, Quinoa and Queen Victoria.

So I lost another half on Wednesday. I have one and a half to lose and this is going to take for ever. It's a 'weighting' game!
 
I am not eating any differently and have no intention of cutting back on anything so I may always be that pound and a half away but there again it may just drop off one week when I least expect it. Dieting keeps you on your toes and there is always that air of anticipation even when it's not a Wednesday.
 
One of the ladies from fat club has made a carrot cake using quinoa.
 
Quinoa is my new favourite word.
 
I rang the health food shop and asked if they had any 'KWINOWAAAA' and the lovely Kat that runs it said 'Liz, it's pronounced 'KEEENWAAAAH' and I now have a box of it in my cupboard and a cake made of it has come out of my oven. The thing is I don't really like cake that much but I'm up for anything food related and cant wait to try it. Leanne has made a lamb rogan josh for tomorrow and I am swapping some of THE cake for some and I cant help but think that I have the longer straw this time.
 
And last night was the quiz. I was the quiz mistress to the same two teams as last week and a good laugh was had by all. I thought I would limit myself to 3 double vodkas but then we sat around chatting afterwards and 2 further vodkas sneaked their way down my throat and by the time I got home at just after midnight I thought to myself - ''ooh tomorrow I may have a headache''
 
But I didn't and the sun has shone quite a bit in  between the rain today and I worked a bit, saw a couple of people that I hadn't seen for a while and they marvelled at the lack of thigh size on me and I blushed a bit but secretly loved it.
 
And I have nothing to say about Queen Victoria, I just needed another Q so the title of the blog flowed nicely. I don't like the royal family so I probably wouldn't have liked her either and I always think she looks quite grumpy. If I was the queen I would be laughing all day long.
 
I have a few nice plans for next week. Yet another quiz at my rural spiritual home of Morvah, a day out with Leanne doing charity shops, discount stores and then lunch on the estuary and then another quiz and then it will be March and I may, just may get an extra special fat club certificate and Redruth band may, just may come and serenade me.
 
Fingers crossed.
 

Saturday, 15 February 2014

dietdevil: Even the birds are singing and I will make them fi...

dietdevil: Even the birds are singing and I will make them fi...: So last night was rough. My house wobbled, the country held its' breath and only silly people went out in it.   Today? Well today i...

Even the birds are singing and I will make them fit.

So last night was rough. My house wobbled, the country held its' breath and only silly people went out in it.
 
Today? Well today is beautiful! Absolutely stunning.
 
 
It is still a bit chilly but most importantly it is dry and I even heard the birds sing. And I am finally  starting to feel better after the horrible virus that I have had all week.
 
Now onto the subject that this blog was originally intended for.
 
My ever present weight loss journey.
 
I have lost about half a stone in the last month and all of a sudden everybody seems to have noticed. I like the compliments but I also do have the humility to blush a little. My jeans that I didn't fit a couple of months back are now hanging from my bum and my friend Lisa ( another serial dieter like myself ) has given me a pair of jeans in the next size down. This, as any dieter will know,  is a big thing.
 I have tried them on. They do up but I need to lose a little bit more before I can wear them with confidence. They are now hanging on the front of my wardrobe next to the minging dress that I was going to wear at Christmas but decided that I will never fit ever  and even if I did it was too minging to enjoy anyway.
 
This jeans will fit. I am not quite sure when but I have got my determined head on again which is good.
 
So as the news seems to be dominated by 'EXTREME WEATHER' bulletins St Ives is currently basking and the influx of visitors to the town for half term should be a fairly happy influx.
 
I am crossing my fingers and looking at the jeans and digging out some new fat club recipes to keep me inspired. Hell, I may even weed my front garden.
 
Onwards and downwards.
 

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

dietdevil: Bottoms up - another 2 gone..........

dietdevil: Bottoms up - another 2 gone..........: So I lost 2 more!     I got my 2 and a half stone certificate and this means I have lost 5 stone 3 all together. I still feel washe...

dietdevil: Bottoms up - another 2 gone..........

dietdevil: Bottoms up - another 2 gone..........: So I lost 2 more!     I got my 2 and a half stone certificate and this means I have lost 5 stone 3 all together. I still feel washe...

dietdevil: Bottoms up - another 2 gone..........

dietdevil: Bottoms up - another 2 gone..........: So I lost 2 more!     I got my 2 and a half stone certificate and this means I have lost 5 stone 3 all together. I still feel washe...

dietdevil: Bottoms up - another 2 gone..........

dietdevil: Bottoms up - another 2 gone..........: So I lost 2 more!     I got my 2 and a half stone certificate and this means I have lost 5 stone 3 all together. I still feel washe...

Bottoms up - another 2 gone..........

So I lost 2 more!
 
 
I got my 2 and a half stone certificate and this means I have lost 5 stone 3 all together. I still feel washed out but I am happy. In 2 pounds time I will be at the target weight I have set myself and I will still be a curvy girl - just a LOT less curvier than I was so it's all good.
 
No amount of dieting will give me small boobs and school boy hips and I have to come to terms with that and be proud of what I have accomplished.
 
Now as I am a very British person I am going to talk about the weather.
 
The weather is crap.
 
There, I have said all am I am saying as it's frankly too depressing to dwell on.
 
So how is my week ahead looking at the moment?
 
Well Friday is the beginning of half term and that therefore means the visitors return to St Ives. I am guessing that a few may not make it due to the awful driving conditions but we are still all systems go here.
 
M is off to London with her friend on Saturday. She is 17 and her friend is 16 and I am not going to worry about it at all. They are spreading their wings and that's what us parents should let them do. Of course, I am going to be a wreck but I want both my kids to experience life and to do this then I must block out any what ifs. I remember when H went to uni 3 years ago and I would feel sick inventing all sorts of scenarios but she is now a grown up and capable woman that can live on her own and cook a meal without blowing up the house etc and that is what I have to remember.
 
And a final word about Gill - one year gone and if she was here today she would have some very strong opinion about all the wind and the rain. I miss hearing her laugh and stroking her dogs and having our general day to day moans. One good thing that has arisen in the last year ? I have got to know her husband Mike so much better and until now I didn't realise what a funny and wonderful man he is. We talk about Gill lots and laugh at what she would do in various situations, so even if she is not here, then her spirit most definitely is.
 

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

dietdevil: Not that I'm one to moan but..................

dietdevil: Not that I'm one to moan but..................: So the lurgy came and found me and has been with me for 2 days now. I am as weak as a kitten and my neck has gone scraggy. All food makes m...

Not that I'm one to moan but..................

So the lurgy came and found me and has been with me for 2 days now. I am as weak as a kitten and my neck has gone scraggy. All food makes me feel sick and I am hungry. Red wine is my only comfort and it is fat club tomorrow and I may pass out at the scales. If I don't lose even an ounce then I may have a bit of a tantrum, so if any of my Redruth buddies are reading this - you have been warned!
 
And yet another day of rain and cold and wind which is par for the course now. The sun has been out for most of the day, but as soon as you get lulled into that false sense of security and think 'I may go out' then the sky goes dark and all apocalyptic. It needs to be spring and then it needs to be summer.
 
On a lighter note I have given away more fat clothes to the BHF. This now means that I have hardly any clothes yet but some of the local fat people have got some lovely stuff. One of the phrases at fat club is NSV which means 'non scales victories' and this is what it's all about. We are encouraged to measure ourselves and even if we have not lost on the scales then there may be a cheeky inch or two less of  a part of our body and that is good! My waist and hips have gone down considerably and my ample chest is still ample but seeing as I am going to Cardiff to see Dolly Parton in June with Leanne, then this look will work well.

M made soup tonight and it is delicious and I think it may be just what the lurgy doctor ordered. I know there was cream involved but in the grand scheme of things I don't think it will make a difference to any weight loss tomorrow. At least I hope not.

And on a more sensitive  note - tomorrow is a year since my lovely neighbour Gill and her 3 dogs died. I will shed a little tear for her and I will have a few minutes silence for her and tomorrow night I will raise a glass with her family and friends in her memory. A wonderful lady, taken tragically and too soon and one that we all miss so much.

But life goes on and I for one will am proud to be part of her life celebration and if I could say one thing to her it would be ''Hello Granny Spaniel - can I borrow your tin opener?''

Sunday, 9 February 2014

dietdevil: Singed gammon, Hibernating and dodgy cakes.

dietdevil: Singed gammon, Hibernating and dodgy cakes.: So the weather is still rubbish. I am like a caged beast. I keep revving up the energy to go out and then it pours down and my nose is drip...

Singed gammon, Hibernating and dodgy cakes.

So the weather is still rubbish. I am like a caged beast. I keep revving up the energy to go out and then it pours down and my nose is dripping and I have huge bags under my eyes and I am a bit fed up......
 
I am still being good in the dietary sense though. One of the ladies at fat club makes a delicious pulled pork dish and me being me decided to do it with a joint of gammon instead. I was so engrossed in my book that it was rather well done and pulling it apart with 2 forks was no mean feat as a lot of it was black and crispy. We still all ate it though, but no comment was passed. An awkward silence sort of hung in the air.
 
I also made a cake that involved pineapples and chickpeas. It was rather gross but beggars cant be choosers and I ate it smothered with a vanilla yogurt to mask the bland taste. I should really know better shouldn't I? I don't even like cakes that much but these fat club ones are a lot less fattening than the full monty - but I am sure that the full monty ones taste nicer......or even nice!
 
The book I was engrossed in is this and it is fantastic! I have now decided it is one of my favourite books ever and I cant stop rattling on about it. Of course, now that I have finished, I must get down to the business of reading the one for book group, which is this for any of you that may want to read along too. I have had a bit of a mental block recently with the book group books in that I haven't really bonded with any of them. It's nothing personal, they just haven't been my cuppa tea but I am hoping that this one may re-kindle my mojo! < --- Did you all see what I did there?
 
Tomorrow, provided that my I can plug my nose up, I am going running with Leanne. She seems to have some sort of 30 day plan for us and I think we are going to be planking on the sand as well. My shorts, vest and trainers are all out and ready and looking at me and I am nervous. After that, I have a funeral to go to and then maybe a quiz tomorrow and then out Tues, Wed and Thurs too so I really don't have time at the moment for this being poorly malarkey.
 
Oh, and I also had my poem broadcast on the radio! I must admit I did feel a little flutter of pride and without being big headed, some of the other stuff wasn't good............is that a bad thing to say or is it just an overload of chickpeas talking?
 
Who know?

Saturday, 8 February 2014

dietdevil: Things that fit, my fluttering eye and the things ...

dietdevil: Things that fit, my fluttering eye and the things ...: So the upside to losing weight is dragging things out of the bottom drawer and trying it on and it fitting - perfectly.   My problem i...

Things that fit, my fluttering eye and the things you agree when you are drunk........

So the upside to losing weight is dragging things out of the bottom drawer and trying it on and it fitting - perfectly.
 
My problem is that I am an impulse buyer and I have a LOT of stuff with labels on that I haven't been able to squeeze my fat arse in until now. For example, we have -
 
1. A stiff floral skirt
2. A lovely little white top that my chest is never going to decently  fit - ever.
3. Some rather chic black capri pants that are still tight but I can do them up.
4. Other stuff that I don't want to talk about.
 
Since the giving away of my scales I have been on this diet like a tramp on a sandwich. There is no pressure any more. I lost half a pound this week and I technically have 4 more to lose until I get to my target and get a sash and a badge and there is a fanfare of trumpets etc. Not quite sure what I do when I am at target because I will have nothing to aim for, apart from maybe being able to move /sit down / breathe in the aforementioned capri pants. We all need a goal don't we?
 
I am also stressed! I do not want to explain why - it's actually rather boring but this stress has given me a twitch in my right eye. It flutters and it flicks and I can see it doing it. I am the proverbial twitchy thin woman. I never twitched when I was fat, or if I did I was too busy enjoying a pie to notice. I need to weigh this up - are hip bones really worth it if you have a facial contortion??
 
And yes, it is still vile weather here. I am fed up with being wet and cold. My skin is pallid and I want to wear my flip flops. I went shopping today at the commercial mecca of Hayle and got soaked just from going from car to shop. My nose is constantly running and if you add that to the twitch then it isn't pleasant.
 
Now on to alcohol!
 
I have done many things throughout my life that have been fuelled by the over consumption of alcohol.
 
 Many Many things BUT never have I agreed to jump out of a plane and nearly die.
 
 Debbie and I are doing this in September.
 
 I don't want to do it. I am scared of heights. Bugger charity, I am bricking myself. Her boyfriend has given us £100 already and we haven't even booked it. I phoned to enquire  and a gentle voiced lady said ''oh I am sure you'll be fine '' as I shrieked hysterically down the line. I bet she had a right laugh about us on her coffee break. It is 7 months away and we need to set a date as apparently people are 'breaking their necks' to go ahead and book, and yes, that is the phrase she used.
 
Before that I have Dolly to see, H to graduate and then Robbie at the O2. These will be my happy thoughts as I plummet quickly.
 
And as I will still be a target member of fat club then I will be no doubt looking just fabulous in my jumpsuit.............I am sure there is one somewhere in my bottom drawer. x

Tuesday, 4 February 2014

dietdevil: I want my scales back and I am going to be on the ...

dietdevil: I want my scales back and I am going to be on the ...: So since my last blog I have given my scales away , had a birthday, and oh yes.............one of my poems is going to be on the radio!  ...

I want my scales back and I am going to be on the radio and I dont care how many people I tell.......

So since my last blog I have given my scales away , had a birthday, and oh yes.............one of my poems is going to be on the radio!
 
I will explain the scales bit first.
 
I have said many a time on here and basically to anyone that will listen that I am a hopper on and off. I get up, I hop on, I hop off, I have a wee, I hop back on, I hop off, I clean my teeth, I hop back on. I have cheeky little hops ons through the day, I hop on at night and if I wake for a wee through the night, I hop on then too. This is doing me no good as the only scales I should really pay any attention to are the official ones at fat club. I gave my scales to a very nice lady called Angela.
 
I want them back.
 I want them back now.
I am weighing tomorrow totally 'blind' and have no indication as to what those bad boys will say in the morning and quite frankly, this is unsettling me.
 
I told Angela when I gave them to her not to let me have them back no matter how much begging and pleading I did and I think tomorrow there will be a LOT of that. I am a mess without them.
 
My birthday was good though. I am now 46, which I think is a bit too close to 50 for my liking but I am not going to stress about it. I got given some lovely gifts and huge amounts of alcohol, which of course after Saturday, I could drink again. My moderation amazed even me! I didn't drink loads and I didn't get drunk. My nose went heavy and I felt very tired but I am sure I behaved myself as much as can be expected. I haven't really had a drink since then and all my numerous bottles are all sat looking at me. It's odd - I know I can have them if I want but I am not sure I actually want them at the moment................
 
And the bestest news from the last few days was from Source FM,  a local ( ish ) radio station that is going to play one of my poems on its' show on Friday evening. I had to tell them a bit about myself and I said something which I thought was quite arty farty like 'yeah I like to observe people and I am lucky to have a lot of diverse people in my life which I take my material from'. I refrained from saying 'luvvy' at the end and the recording I have done is a bit cringey but we all have to start somewhere. The poem they picked was one I wrote a couple of weeks ago and in case any of you haven't read it - here it is..........
 
 
 
A Different Hat

So all the people that you encounter...

Throughout the course of humdrum days
As you rush to work, or dash round shops
With the odd child attached stickily to your hand
Some may intrigue
Some may be bland
But behind the masks of normality
Do you ever
Stop and question
That
Some may wear a different hat?

Those happy souls with smiles attached
To glowing faces
May in fact
Sit quietly when there’s no one there
May only hear their own despair
May stare at walls
Or gaze at screens
Or breathe in violent curdled screams

And those so quiet
And just ignored
We imagine sit there prim and bored
But what if they , yes, really them,
Entertain some gentlemen
Engage in drinking, swinging , drugs,
Or sip cheap dark rum from china mugs
And that grey man upon the train?
By night he may just inflict pain
On someone tied onto his bed
He cracks whips while she gives head
Behind each cranny and every nook
There’s many hats on many hooks
Of normal people just like us
That want to blend, not make a fuss
But never underestimate your observations
Of people’s lives
And complications
Never think all’s as it seems
Never think well that is that
For with us all, within our dreams
We can all sometimes wear a different hat
 
Of course since then I have had complete writers block but by writing today's blog I am easing myself in gently................darling.

Friday, 17 January 2014

dietdevil: The hatred of scales, a new addition and will the ...

dietdevil: The hatred of scales, a new addition and will the ...: So I am THREE POUNDS UP from my weigh in on Wednesday.   How and Why?   This is where I should toss those scales out the window an...

The hatred of scales, a new addition and will the lunges clear my sinuses?

So I am THREE POUNDS UP from my weigh in on Wednesday.
 
How and Why?
 
This is where I should toss those scales out the window and calm the hell down but of course I am not going to do that because -
1. They may hit a passing spaniel on the head
2. I am not generally a calm person so it's unlikely that this will make me one.
 
I have no idea where this THREE POUNDS has come from and I hope to god that it goes away before next Wednesday. The good news on the dietary front though, is that I now fit into a pair of jeans that I bought in November that would go no further than my thighs so maybe the THREE POUNDS have just moved to another part of my body - like my ankles perhaps?
 
Today M got her car. It is a red version of the dearly departed Sylvia that served H so well after she passed her driving test. It is a car that both the girls will share and I am looking forward to how that will turn out.
 
 
I drove it home and it went like a dream and due to some total idiot that indicated a bit late going through Carbis Bay, I am now 100% sure that the brakes are in full working order.
All we need now are the 'L' plates.........and she's off!
 
I have got some yukky bug. My throat is sore and I have catarrh and I feel slightly sick. I do not like feeling like this and I am miserable.
 
I need to get better. Tomorrow is my second beach bootcamp and I cant wait to see 'Steve' again. I am praying that more people turn up so it's not just me and Vickie. I am figuring that if there are more than 2 of us than he may not notice my lethargic planking and half hearted 'sprinting' down to the shore. It's not that I don't want to go, it's just that I feel as weak as a kitten and not in the least bit energetic but I will be there in mind and body and ready to lunge.
 
I am also taking my camera so you can all see what 'Steve' looks like. Oh and this week I must remember water..............and maybe some sinus tablets too.